We mourn the loss of our father, George Planken

The past months have been life-altering.

December 12, we celebrated the birth of our newborn daughter, Sophie. Now, unfortunately, we mourn the passing of my father, George, at the age of 82.

George a few years ago.

Pragmatist he was, he never stopped teaching, preparing my sister and I for all the curve balls life could possibly throw. He was always there for us in times of need. He made us into strong and independent individuals. He gave us everything we have now. He lived his life looking ahead to what was to come, not looking back, mourning what once was or could have been. He was the life-long teacher that was always there for those he taught. He always provided a helping hand in times of need without awaiting a request. He was the friend you could rely on at any time of day or night. He always offered advice and insight when asked. He always gave more than what was asked for without ever expecting or awaiting return rewards.

There are so many positive memories to cherish, because we spent so much time together as a family. As a child, I remember the countless road trips, visiting a vast number of museums and sights across the country, enriching both our lives, learning from each other and from what we saw. We were always broadening our horizons and absorbing knowledge. Later, as an adult, I vividly remember the many constructive discussions we had, often touching core issues in philosophy and psychology. Those discussions were always positive and enriching whether we agreed or not.

He was always supportive of the decisions I took. He supported me when I moved out and moved across the country after I enlisted. He supported us when we decided to leave the country after I married Tanya, knowing that the chance of seeing us again would be slim. And even with a physical distance between us he remained supportive, interested in our lives and proud of our accomplishments.

And sometimes much was said without speaking.

Spending time with us was his investment and watching us evolve into what we are now was his reward.

His passing came after a brief moment of preparation which enabled us to say goodbye. To try to come to terms with it. To try to accept it. This time was much too short, for him and the ones that loved him and cared for him. Even though you know this moment will come and the time left is short you can't really prepare. It's the inevitable that you wish you could postpone. But he accepted his fate before I was willing to accept it.

From our last conversation I know that he was satisfied with what we all had accomplished as a family as a whole. He embraced my wife like a child of his own and was proud of our new daughter, though he never experienced the pleasure a granddad should be entitled to: to hold her.

I feel terrible for Janny, Petra, and Edo in my home town, 4,500 miles away.

But the circle of life continues. Now it is my turn as a new father to prepare Sophie for her journey through life. To pass on knowledge and skills. To educate her. To be there for her when needed. To reach out to her in times of need. To shape her into a strong and independent individual.

There are some small things that you should never forget, though. Don't neglect to actually tell your loved ones that you love them. Ensure that you kiss them goodbye in the morning when you leave for work and ensure that you kiss them again when you are all safe back home. Think twice before leaving your house without saying goodbye. And tell 'em you're sorry when you are.

One day — you will discover — it will no longer be possible.

In memory of George Planken — September 17, 1927 - January 24, 2010
We will never forget all that you have done for us

We never know we go, — when we are going
We jest and shut the door;
Fate following behind us bolts it,
And we accost no more.

Emily Dickinson